When is repentance necessary? That's a question that came to my mind last night as I watched the film "Tape." The character John believed that he had committed a crime against Amy. Amy was asserting (right or wrong) that there had been no crime. When John tried to apologize, Amy wouldn't accept it on the basis that he had not been accused, therefore his apology wasn't necessary.
A big point was made in the dialogue of this movie that the perspective of each character helped to shape the actual event that occurred. "How would she describe it?" "I'm just wondering how you would describe it.." That sort of talk went on the whole movie. Also Amy pointing out that John's confession didn't actually prove that he had done anything wrong. If the crime itself is subject to interpretation, what about the repentance?
Could one say in their mind (rightly) that their crime had not hurt anyone but themselves and God, so they only owe repentance to those parties? Can we rightly believe that our actions only go so far? If Amy had truly forgotten about what had occurred (as John had rationalized) would his apology be truly not needed? Are we ever correct to assume that we know when to dish out repentance, and when to just "not do it next time?" Also, was Amy correct in saying that if John was truly repentant, he'd be willing to fully deal with the consequences?
I'm sure we've all done stuff. Is this movie trying to say that we have to go through our past and apologize to every single person for every single thing we've done, is that the point? I think it forces us to ask ourselves.. what is repentance and when is it necessary? I welcome all thoughts and comments...
by the way, I want to thank everyone who attended last night's showing. It was great to see you all and hear your thoughts. I look forward to the next one, which will definitely be Saturday, February 25th at 7 PM (movie rolls at 7:15)
About Me
- Ryan
- My wife Mandy and I have a band called willowfair, check us out at www.sonicbids.com/willowfair
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5 comments:
Amy is absolutely right when she says that John has not committed a crime. I think it's very telling that an assistant district attorney says this. If Amy does not press charges, John cannot be convicted of rape, regardless of his confession. This does not, however, mean that John hasn't done anything wrong. I think this exchange raises some interesting questions about justice and the law.
I don't think any of our sins are between us and God. We are communal beings, and our actions affect those around us.
Is repentance the same thing as saying, "I'm sorry"? As I understand it, repentance conveys the idea of turning around and going in a different direction. If that's accurate, John seems to have repented from the beginning. Regardless of whether what happened were actually rape, I get the impression that John never did anything like that again. Is the apology still necessary? If Amy had gotten pregnant (which I think the movie implies she did), then John would have a responsibility to take care of the child. But an apology without restitution seems hollow, and how can you make restitution for rape (if it happened)?
To add to the confusion, I can think of people in the past whom I have hurt, and I have apologized and received their forgiveness, and I don't do what I did anymore. I still don't feel that that makes up for what I did. Even if John repented, apologized, and received Amy's forgiveness, is anything really better?
I like your distinction between John committing a crime and him doing something wrong. Crime only exists if somebody decides to prosecute a certain act. Outside of that system, we only have behaviors, right and wrong. That definitely wasn't what I was driving at, but it's a good point, Buddy.
I believe that repentance is not the same thing as just saying "I'm sorry." I also believe that it's not the same thing as just going in a different direction. If John only does not repeat the act, that does not mean that he has shown full repentance for that act at all. To repent also conveys the idea that you are truly sorry, shamed in some way of your behavior. Also that you are making a decision to turn from it and go in a different direction.
There are many reasons why I might do something once and never repeat it, maybe I'm afraid I'll get caught. John actually doesn't seem to experience true shame, he just made a conscious decision not to do end up like a "certain kind of person" as he put it.
Your last point is a good one, which gets at the heart of my initial question. If we can't see the benefit of our repentance, do we have the right to withold it? I think it's important to note that repentance in no way erases the act or the consequences.
Repentance can never make up for anything. Which is what makes grace such a powerful thing. Our repentance or confessions don't merit any act of grace in return, like you said, it doesn't make up for what you did.
What about motive? If John steers away from repeating his wrongdoing, but doesn't do it for the right reasons, is that good enough? Is it good enough for us to do that?
I like what you said about grace, and I'd like you to elaborate. What does grace do? Does it make things right? If Amy withheld grace, would she be just as wrong as John if he withheld repentance? What value would repentance have without grace?
I think we would be right to conclude that if we fail to extend grace, we are in the wrong just as the unrepentant heart is in the wrong for its condition. And actually, the funny thing is, we're not given the choice of extending it once repentance from the other party has been reached. We're supposed to always be doing it. So what is it? Good question, and I don't want to trivialize such a powerful thing with my definition. But I basically mean humbling yourself in an act of forgiveness or of anything in which you are showing mercy and love when it is obviously not earned. The minute someone deserves to be forgiven, you've no longer extended them grace by forgiving. Deserving forgiveness is kind of an odd concept that I can't think of examples of, but I hope you get my point anyway.
what good does it do? I think it puts us in right relation with who we were made to be and how we're to live (by extending it). You know, it makes us have more humility and stuff like that. by receiving it, it doesn't make the physical consequences (pain) go away, so it doesn't make everything better. But despite that, learning to receive grace also is a growing experience that helps shape a lot of right qualities within us. I don't believe John can truly receive grace (it can be offered to him) until his heart is repentant.
I guess if the only goal is to make what happened better, there is no action that can be taken that will truly make accomplish that. consequences remain. But repentance and grace still have their place and are not just asked from us, we'll find that we're nothing without them. If you were thinking of something in particular when you said that which I didn't get to, by all means go ahead.
So it's the Buddy and Ryan ping pong game again (this is pretty familiar territory after almost 2 years of discussing stuff with you online). I wonder what everybody thinks when they read all this stuff between us. I hope that everybody reading knows to just pipe up and say anything on your mind (even if it's a change of subject). Buddy and I are quite interested in what people have to say that aren't named buddy and ryan. i'm always interested in what he has to say, but he grows weary of my babbling. I know some of you have never commented on blogsites... don't worry about anything. Use it as a way to sharpen how you think, and your understanding of how others think, it's a very useful tool. please join us!
mandy and i watched "The Notebook" tonight after I convinced her to let me rent 6 movies (in order to earn one free rental). Has anybody watched it? If so, any thoughts? 3 of the rentals tonight were free as well, for anybody thinking i'm a complete buffoon. It's just going to be a race against the clock to watch them all.
Sprinkles, how the heck are you doing man? I appreciate the Shawshank Redemption references, but maybe you could explain a little more what you mean. maybe? :)
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